


With Blood on Your Hands

by kpkl10



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, mentions of blood and guns/violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22200298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpkl10/pseuds/kpkl10
Summary: Barry gets hurt on a job and Len has to deal with his feelings about the man.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart
Comments: 10
Kudos: 175





	With Blood on Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who got hit with the urge to write coldflash after like 4 years of being out of the fandom?? Hint: it's me

There’s blood on Leonard’s hands and he can’t stop staring at it. It’s starting to dry, making his fingers stick together. He knows he should get up and go wash it off, but he doesn’t want to stray too far from the doorway separating him from the Flash team.

Barry is in the other room, surrounded by STAR Labs’ technology that’s been designed just for the speedster to keep him at peak performance. Though that doesn’t mean that it was meant to deal with a catastrophe like the one Len had been witness to earlier. He can still see Barry’s terrified face looking up at him as he laid sprawled on the floor, blood gushing out of the gunshot wounds to his stomach. 

Len shakes his head, trying to dispel the image. He shouldn’t care so much about the speedster. They’re not friends. Not even close. Not even if Barry has convinced himself otherwise. 

It was supposed to be an easy job, one Len was doing with Barry to gain his trust. They were to go into the warehouse, rid it of the metahumans hiding out there in between their terrorizing of the city, and get out. After that, Barry would’ve been more susceptible to Len’s suggestions, thinking that Len was on his side. It was all a farce, really. 

That fact didn’t make it any easier to see Barry suddenly fall to the floor, a stunned look on his face. Len had been struck with a panic that was almost painful. Before his ears had stopped ringing from the sound of the gunshot, he’d taken down the guy who’d hurt Barry. Len isn’t even sure if the guy is alive or not, just that he’s going to be stuck in ice for a while. 

It’d been a blur from there. Len had hauled Barry back to the car Len had used to get to the warehouse, and drove him to STAR Labs. He’d seen the looks of shock and distrust as the Flash’s friends had taken Barry from his hold. Len is sure that the second Barry is fine, he’ll be kicked out of the lab forever. 

That is, _if_ Barry is fine. 

“Hey.” 

Len looks up at the sound of the soft voice. Iris is standing in front of him, her arms wrapped around herself and her eyebrows drawn down. Len isn’t sure when she even got here, but he isn’t surprised that someone called her to the lab. She and Barry are close. If anyone is going to yell at him for what he’d gotten Barry into, it’s her. 

Instead, Iris sits down next to Len and says, “You should go wash up.” 

Len looks at his hands again and tries not to grimace. “How’s Barry?” 

A small shake of Iris’ head. “Caitlin says he’ll be okay, but we won’t know for sure until she’s stitched him back up. He’s faster at healing than us, though, which will help.” 

Len doesn’t want to think about Barry lying on a table, open for the world to see. He also doesn’t want to feel as distressed as he does right now, but that isn’t working out for him. 

“This is my fault,” Len hears himself say. He hates how small and defeated he sounds. “I didn’t see the gun until it was too late.” 

“Unless you were the one who shot Barry, it’s not your fault.” 

Len glances over at her. “Why are you being nice to me? Shouldn’t you hate me, or something?” 

Iris lets out a humorless sound. “Probably. But… you’ve changed. The old you would’ve left Barry to bleed out at that warehouse. Instead, you brought him here, where he could be helped.” 

Len clenches and unclenches his jaw. He stands up on weak legs. “I’ll be in the bathroom. Let me know if anything happens with Barry.” 

Iris nods, letting Len go without a word. 

Len walks down the hallway to the nearest bathroom. When he enters, he immediately shuts the door behind him and leans up against it. He should leave the building now, and not worry about how Barry is doing. It would be the rational thing to do. But he’s not being rational today, so he slowly goes over to the sink and starts to wash his hands. The water turns red and rusty, and stays that way for a long time. 

Len is in the process of scraping the blood out from under his nails when he realizes how bad his hands are shaking. He curses and shuts the water off, grips the side of the sink hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He doesn’t want to look up in fear of what he’ll see on his face in the mirror in front of him. 

It’s stupid. It’s all stupid. He doesn’t care for Barry. 

Except he does, and it’s tearing him apart. 

Len pushes off from the sink only to sit down and place his head between his knees. In the back of his mind, he can hear his father berating him for getting attached to a goody-two shoes like Barry Allen. It makes him smile grimly. 

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, trying and failing to motivate himself to get up and get out of STAR Labs. At the most, he shoulders his jacket off, the thick material making it too hot to keep on. Eventually, though, he hears a light knock on the bathroom door. It’s enough to make him stand up and pretend to look neutral. 

The door swings open and Barry pokes his head in. It causes Len to lose his composure for a quick moment. Barry’s hair is in a disarray and his skin is pale. His speedster suit is gone, replaced by a t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s alive and standing, but it seems like it’s taking all of Barry’s strength for that. 

“Can I come in?” Barry asks, his voice a little hoarse. 

Len nods. 

Barry moves into the bathroom, and Len sees Caitlin behind him. Barry waves her off, telling her he’ll be fine. Caitlin shoots Len a hard look, but lets Barry enter the bathroom alone. 

“You look like shit,” Len says, not sure what else to say. 

A brief smile crosses Barry’s face. “So do you.” 

Len finally realizes that, yes, they’re in a bathroom right now, which probably means Barry came in here for a specific reason. He starts toward the door. “I’ll leave.” 

Barry places a gentle hand on his chest, stopping him. “No, it’s fine. Iris told me you were in here. As long as you stay, Caitlin won’t come in and poke and prod me every two seconds to make sure I’m still breathing.” 

Len stares at Barry for a moment, gaze flickering over the freckles on his face. He should leave. He wants to leave. He… No, that’s a lie. He wants to stay. 

“Okay,” Len finally says. “But you should at least sit down. I don’t need you passing out on me.” 

Barry offers him a small smile. He slowly sits down—wincing a bit and clutching his stomach-- on the floor next to Len’s jacket, which Len is just now noticing is stained with blood. Len joins him on the floor, not sure what to say next. 

Thankfully, Barry fills the silence. “So that whole mission was a disaster.” 

Len gives a humorless laugh. “No doubt about that. Could’ve been worse, though.” 

Barry raises an eyebrow. “How? It--” 

“You could’ve died,” Len interrupts, not able to look Barry directly in the eye as he says it. 

Barry falls silent, giving Len a searching look. “Yeah, but I didn’t. And I heal fast, so it’s all fine.” 

“That’s not the point.” Len wants to beg himself to stop talking, to keep his mouth shut. “You… There was so much blood. It’s all over my jacket. And you looked so afraid. I didn’t think you were going to be okay.” 

“But I _am_.” Barry leans back a little, frowning. “Len, why is this bothering you so much?” 

“I don’t know,” Len replies, feeling helpless and exhausted. At least he manages to shut his mouth after this, not letting Barry know that it’d felt like he’d had something ripped out of him when the question of Barry’s life was up in the air. 

Barry is silent for a long time, staring at the empty space between them. Finally, he clears his throat and says, “Thanks. For saving me. I guess I owe you one.” 

If Len was a rational person right now, he’d hold the favor over Barry’s head. Instead, he says, “Don’t worry about it. You’d do the same for me.” 

Barry looks up at him then, holding Len’s gaze. A tenuous moment passes between them, neither of them quite knowing what to do next. Then a sharp knock on the door draws their attention away from each other. 

“You alive in there, Barry?” comes Caitlin’s voice. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Barry calls back. He glances back over at Len and says, quieter, “I should probably go out there before Caitlin busts the door down.” 

Len nods. He feels like he should say something but doesn’t know what it would even be. Instead, he stands up and offers Barry his hand. 

Barry takes his hand, looking grateful as Len pulls him to his feet. Len starts to let go of Barry’s hand, but Barry holds tight to him. Len has to force himself to look away from Barry’s slender fingers wrapped around his wrist. 

Barry offers Len a small smile, and Len can’t help but notice the dark circles forming under Barry’s eyes. He’s struck by the sudden urge to pull Barry close and hold onto him until he feels like he can’t breathe. Len forces the urge down with some difficulty. 

“I’m okay, Len,” Barry says quietly, probably seeing the warring emotions on Len’s face. He’s still holding onto Len’s wrist, his hand warm against Len’s skin. “Please don’t worry about me.” 

“I’m not--” Len starts, then shuts his mouth because he knows his reply would be a lie. “I’ll see you around, Red.” 

“Yeah, you, too.” Barry finally let’s go of Len, cold air hitting his wrist like a shock. 

Barry turns towards the door, and he has his hand above the handle when he stops and turns back around. He frowns at Len for a long moment. Len shifts under his gaze, wondering what could be going through Barry’s mind. Then Barry steps forward, one hand going to the back of Len’s neck and pulling him into a kiss. 

Barry’s lips are soft against his, like he thinks if he kisses Len too hard he might break-- which, all things considered, Len probably would. The surprise of it all keeps Len from fully reacting before Barry is pulling away. Len leans forward as Barry leans back, catching his lips. He didn’t know how much he’d wanted this until it was happening. 

Barry doesn’t protest, letting Len kiss him until it’s hard for Len to breathe. Barry smiles softly at Len as they break apart, some of the color returned to his cheeks. Even though they’re not kissing anymore, Len can’t seem to get air into his lungs. Barry lays a hand briefly on Len’s chest, the weight of it reassuring, then takes a step back. 

“Bye, Len,” Barry says, heading to the door again. “Text me in a couple days. Maybe you can ask me out for dinner.” 

Len can only nod, not trusting himself to speak. Barry’s smile turns a little self-satisfied before he slips out the door. It takes a full minute for all of Len’s senses to come back to him, for everything to settle in. 

Did Barry Allen just ask Len to ask him out on a date? 

Len blows out a long breath and shakes his head. He guesses he’s had weirder things happen to him. But none of them were this nice. He thinks maybe he can stand having feelings if it means he gets to kiss the Flash again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> [My Coldflash playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0BuPhGxsJOsVXwj9Uq3E43?si=7sHyGSzARA6Cu_NFOn-fLA)
> 
> [Links to other sites I'm on](http://linktr.ee/kpkl10)


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